A Word from "Loose Sense" Lauren!
"Loose Sense" Lauren, "Attacking Sleeping Beauty"
Oh look! It's story time with Lauren!
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. There was also a witch, a couple of fairies, a huge dragon, and, later, scholars added vaginal imagery just for fun. I swear, they did it for fun. In any case, that princess came to be known as Sleeping Beauty. Look at her flitting about without a care in the world....
Now, Lauren had a serious issue with Sleeping Beauty. Actually, she had many problems with her, but she didn't feel like airing all her grievances. After all, that requires time and no self-respecting princess would listen to a rant that long.
Sleeping Beauty, after she woke up, spent a considerable amount of time whining about all the time she lost while sleeping. And while she complained, she looked refreshed, energized, ready to face the world. Lauren, on the other hand, could only watch her jealously. Because really, what a nerve! Walking around, complaining about sleeping when some people are seriously lacking and looking beautiful while doing it! Someone needed to take her down and Lauren (because she wasn't sleeping anyway) decided that she would be the one to do it.
One day, when the princess was alone, Lauren approached her, holding a cup of coffee in her outstretched hand. The princess was grateful for the refreshment and very much enjoyed the burst of energy she got from the caffeine. She drank more and more coffee and slept less and less as the days progressed. Lauren had succeeded in her mission. Now they were both tired and just crazy enough to indulge in maniacal laughter.
Mwahahahahaha! Success is mine! My plan is complete!
Night! But not you Sleeping Beauty... you've had enough. It's time you learned to share.
Cheerio Darlings! (Insert English accent)
"Loose Sense" Lauren